Conspiracy of One
by Philosophi Lapis
Summary: One shot. Lee conspires to fail his N.E.W.Ts


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Lee Jordan was both looking forward to and dreading his N.E.W.Ts. Looking forward to them because they meant he would soon be leaving school to be reunited with his best friends, Fred and George Weasley. And dreading them because, from everything he had heard, they were going to be very difficult.

The N.E.W.Ts seemed closer than ever when Professor McGonagall bought up the subject during one transfiguration lesson. After telling the class how the exams were structured and giving them a list of items that were not allowed in during the written exams, she went on to tell them that their new Headmistress, Professor Umbridge, had asked heads of houses to remind students that their results reflected on her regime at the school.

At these words Lee had an idea. He didn't know if it would work, but it had to be worth a try. He shot an ink pellet at the girl sitting in front of him. It struck just behind her right ear.

"Ouch! What, Jordan?" hissed Angelina Johnson turning around in her seat.

"Jordan!" said Professor McGonagall sharply from her desk. "If you normally try to get a girl's attention by shooting ink pellets at her, then I am not at all surprised by Miss Johnson's constant refusal to go out with you."

A few people laughed although Lee and Angelina didn't.

"Now whatever it is you have to say to Miss Johnson can wait until after the lesson. Unless of course she would prefer to hear it now"

From the look Angelina was giving Lee it was quite obvious that she did not want to hear anything that he had to say to her.

"I was just going to ask if I could borrow a quill" lied Lee.

Angelina reached into her bag for a spare quill and handed it to Lee without looking at him. His plan would have to wait.

"Now where was I?" said Professor McGonagall. "Yes, your results will reflect on our headmistress's new regime at Hogwarts. But remember that your own futures are more important and there is no reason why you should not try your very best.

To Lee's immense surprise, Angelina tracked him down after dinner accompanied by her best friend, Alicia Spinnet.

"What's up with you, Jordan?" she asked. "I know you didn't need to borrow a quill today"

Lee looked around to check that there was no sign of Umbridge, Filch or the Inquisitorial Squad before he answered the question

"You heard what McGonagall said. About our exam results reflecting on Umbridge" said in a low voice.

"Course we did" said Angelina. "What about it"

"Well that means she could get chucked out if enough people fail" said Lee.

"I don't think she will" said Alicia. "Fudge will make sure she stays. I mean the ministry don't want anyone learning anything do they?"

"It's worth a try" implored Lee.

"Are you suggesting we should fail or N,E.W.Ts, Jordan?" asked Angelina.

"Well yeah. Fred and George would do it if it meant they had a shot of getting rid of Umbridge."

"We're not Fred and George" said Alicia. "And did you miss McGonagall saying we had our own future's to think about it."

"What about them?" asked Lee flippantly. "I'm going to work with Fred and George. And you two are good enough to play Quidditch after you leave here. "I bet if we asked everyone in the DA…"

"But not everyone in the DA wants to play Quidditch or work in a joke shop" Angelina pointed out.

"Even if they did, I can't see any of them failing their exams on purpose" said Alicia. "Neville's too scared of his grandmother. Hermione wouldn't fail an exam if her life depended on it."

"And apparently that Macmillan bloke from Hufflepuff is keeping a record of how many hours a day he spends studying" said Angelina. "Lee, I want to get rid of Umbridge as much as anyone else". It was one of the few occasions when she called him Lee instead of Jordan. "But I don't think this is the way to do it. Alicia's right, Fudge isn't going to kick her out.

"And our results reflect on other teachers, not just Umbridge" said Alicia. "Do you want to make any of them look incompetent?"

Lee hadn't thought of this.

"I s'pose not" he admitted. "Well maybe Snape. I know if we pass everything except Defence Against the Dark Arts, Umbridge will be the only teacher who looks bad and our marks will still look ok because we only would have failed one subject!"

"It won't work" said Angelina. "Even if there's a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher next year, Fudge will still let Umbridge stay as Headmistress and High Inquisitor."

Lee kicked the wall in frustration.

"This is stupid" he shouted. "In seven years we've been here we've only had one decent Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Quirrell was afraid of everything. Lockhart was a joke. Moody turned out to be a nutter..."

"That wasn't him, Lee" said Alicia patiently. But he was still shouting.

"Umbridge is going out of her way not to teach us. Lupin was the only good teacher we had. One decent teacher in seven years!"

"Two" said Alicia firmly.

"What?" asked Lee completely taken aback.

"Well we did learn a bit from Moody" said Angelina.

"No not him. I'm talking about Harry" said Alicia in a tone of voice that indicated this should have been obvious. "He was the best teacher we had and being in the DA made me feel as if I was doing something useful. I'm going to do my best for Harry and Dumbledore, not for Umbridge"

"I don't care about Umbridge either" said Angelina. "But you've got a point about Harry. He was a good teacher. Even Neville and the Creeveys were getting really good. And Harry never lost his temper with me, but I would have deserved it the way I shouted at him. Lee, Alicia's right. It won't be Umbridge you'll be letting down if you fail, it's Harry"

As much as he hated to admit it, Lee could not think of a single argument to make against this fact.

"Alright. I won't fail on purpose. Are you happy now?"

Neither girl answered him, but Lee took their silence for assent and started to walk off.

"Oi, Jordan" shouted Angelina.

"What?" yelled Lee turning back around to face her.

"Give me my quill back!"


End file.
